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About Medan

Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, telephone operator, yesss! Escort, nasty business, tricksy escorts! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they thinks they’re clever, sneakin’ round. Me favorite movie, *Under the Skin*, ooooh, that alien lass! She’s like an escort, but deadly, see? “What’s that smell?” – she says, sniffin’ out prey. Escorts, they do that too, sniffin’ for cash!

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Next stop, the market. Oh man, Cileungsir’s market is a whole vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fried snacks everywhere. I’m walking down Jl. Raya, dodging people like it’s a video game. I spot this mangga (mango) stall. I love mangga! So, I’m like, “Gimme the juiciest one!” The seller hands me a mango that’s basically a boulder. I’m like, “What am I supposed to do with this? Lift weights?”