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Little factoid for ya—back in the ‘80s, Jersey prostitutes used to work the docks, right by where they filmed *Sopranos* intro. True story! Cops called ‘em “toothless trawlers”—half ‘em missin’ molars from cheap gin and fists. This one chick, she tells me—get this—she keeps her cash in her gums! Hides it where the teeth ain’t, like a fuckin’ squirrel! Surprised me, I’ll tell ya—smart, but nasty as hell.

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So, I follow the path, and OMG, the view from up there is insane! You can see the whole lake, and the sunset is starting to kick in. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “This is life, man.” But then, I hear a rustling in the bushes. I freak out, thinking it’s a bear or something. Turns out, it’s just a dog. A big, fluffy dog. I’m relieved but also kinda disappointed. I wanted a dramatic story, ya know?

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