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I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts yellin’. He’s on the corner of 25th Martiou Street, and he’s got a beef with the world. I can’t even understand what he’s sayin’. Something about his ex and a cat? I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace, but he’s not havin’ it. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a night out!” But he’s all fired up.

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