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So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude on a scooter just wiped out on the sidewalk. Like, bro, you okay? He gets up, brushes himself off, and starts laughin’. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a mess!” But he just shrugs it off. Classic Igoumenitsa vibe, right?

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