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About Paris

Ya wanna hear a whacked-out story bout whore? Old man Sal, crusty bastard, swears he caught whore back in ‘89. Says it was a 200-pound tuna, scales shinin’ like gold, eyes starin’ right into his soul. Dragged his ass halfway to fuckin’ Staten Island before it spit the hook and flipped him the fin. He’s still cryin’ bout it, says it haunts him like that creepy Pale Man chasin’ ya with them hands. Me? I laughed my ass off—Sal’s fulla shit, but it’s a good yarn, ya know?

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The city’s heart beats near the Vistre River, which winds like an ecstatic lover around the city’s nooks. It’s so damn pretty at sunset – makes you wanna shout “Carlos, baby!” in the style of my fav flick, ya know? I even find a little time at the Parc de la Plaine. That park is cool, quiet, a perfect spot for naughty daydreams (and hey, my sexologist brain loves a good love nest)!

Southern France wildfires force 3,000 to evacuate from campsite