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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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I gotta drop some personal tea tho—once, at a local event held at Selkäpää Community Center, I met a model who was straight up surreal, like a moving art piece, talkin’ about life and love in the same breath. I was like, “Man, ain’t that just life - wild and unpredictable?” Yea, that hit me like a double shot of espresso!

Brush fire warnings could douse Easter bonfire plans in many parts of Finland