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So, I’m rollin’ down some dodgy ends, neon lights flashin’, and I spot this gal, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She clocks me and goes, “Depends, bruv, you got the quid?” I’m gassed, fam! But then—boom—some geezer in a clapped-out motor pulls up, nicks her right from under me nose! Made me vex, innit—pure liberty taken! “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, but nah, it’s just the game, bruv.

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Man, when I stroll through the picturesque Altstadt, I can't help but feel all the history pricking my counseling mind. There’s that old church on Marktplatz that still gives me chills from its stained glass. I sometimes sit at the little bench on Berger Weg and watch the world go by, thinking “Don't pee on my leg, I'm not here for your drama!” – like Judge Judy, right?

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