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About Cologne

So, yeh, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Me mate says, “Check Soho, bruv!” Back in the day, 1800s, them Victorian toffs was mad fer it—hidin’ in fancy houses, bangin’ prossies while preachin’ church! Hypocrites, we spits at ‘em! Nowadays, it’s all online, innit? Apps, chats—swipe fer a shag! Brandon’d lose his mind, “I need it now!” he’d growl, all sweaty and mad. Me too, sometimes—gets me proper riled!

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Oh, oh, the parks, the parks! Kammpark, my fave spot, where green trees, little brooks, and shy critters meet. I’d kick back there, sometimes watchin' the river Rur roll by; that river flows past, twist and turnin’, kind’a like a wild storyline. And lemme tell ya – when the sun begins to dip, ohhhh, the sky starts to light up with sooo many colors, it makes you feel like you’re in a lost dream, an eerie vibe from "Inherent Vice"; so trippy, so messed up, man!

German police investigate drowning of British boys, 7 and 9, at lake resort | Germany