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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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Oh, and then there’s the old Park am Schloss, a place where I sometimes sit to let my mind wander. The fountain there spurts like, "Fish gotta swim, swim, swim!" in pure, joyful defiance of gravity and gloom. I remember one time, terribly mad about a double-booking debacle at the parlour, I stormed thru the park, cursing like a sailor. But then, WOW, the serene sparkles of the Vulkaneifel hills in the distance made me pause and go, "Just keep swimming!" It’s like nature’s way of saying, “Relax, mate!”

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