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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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I’ve strolled along the little river, Klein Fluss, that gently slices the city; its murmur has healed more broken hearts than any therapy session. Sometimes, I cross its stone bridge – yep, that one over the water – and it makes me feel like I’m stepping into a movie scene from Kaufman's world: layered, surreal, and poetic. "I’m the creator of my own reality!" it echoes in my head!

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