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Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit – “Everything was good before!” some say, but nah, it’s always been mental. You might shag a stunner or end up with a nutter who nicks yer wallet. Pro tip – check their profile pics, if it’s all filters, run! Once saw a bird post a snap from 1890 or summat, swear it, fuckin sepia-toned, hilarious!

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I be erryday runnin' my spa, givin' folks those sweet massages. And honestly, it’s all about the feeling – just like that movie "Her", man, all those deep thoughts poppin’ up. I even blast its tunes while I work. "The past is just a story we tell," I riff sometimes, catchin' my breath and wonderin' if I'm the main character in my own flick, ya dig?

One rescued, one missing after jumping into the ocean near Steamer Lane, Santa Cruz Fire says