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But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Gets me riled up—blokes treatin’ ‘em like dirt, thinkin’ they’re kings. Mate, you’re a pillock with a fiver, calm down. Once saw a punter haggelin’—hagglin’!—like she’s a market stall. I’m yellin’ in me head, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS, you cheap git!” Nearly blasted him with a fireball, swear down.

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The neighborhoods? Wow, they are phenomenal, really tremendous neighborhoods. In Le Quartier de L’Éclat, even the weeds seem to have opinions about romance. Every corner’s a story, every alley – BAM – a revelation. I'm always amazed by how the locals mix tradition with modernity. My own profession, ya know, it’s shown me that sex and intimacy are woven deep into the soul of this place. I've seen couples spark right outside the local bakery on Rue du Coeur Brisé even on the dreariest day – unbelievable!

Two-kilometer-long rosca de reyes, or Kings’ Day bread, wins a Guinness