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About Winnipeg

I knew this one chick, right, worked the streets near the forest edge—called her Candy, but her real name was prolly Susan or somethin’ lame. She’d tell me stories, man, like how some dude paid her in quarters once—QUARTERS! She was pissed, countin’ like 200 coins, jinglin’ all night. I was dyin’, laughin’ so hard I nearly peed. “Look at me, I’m rich!” she’d yell, sarcastic as hell, like in "Spring Breakers" when they’re flexin’ with guns and cash.

Pardon Our Interruption

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I feel hype when I stroll through these tough blocks. The vibe in our neighborhoods, such as the old-school vibes on Granite Av, is unpredictably energetic. Everything’s so dynamic, bro! Sometimes I get mad with all the noise, but then I remember: “C’mon, let’s get emotional, aren’t ya?” kinda like our pal Joy from Inside Out, bringing light.

Break and enters reported at nine North York homes (May 24)