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Right, so, tryna track one down—fuckin’ hell, it’s a minefield! Apps, dodgy ads, mate, half the time you’re thinkin’, “Is this a scam or a STD waitin’ to happen?” Idiot sandwich! Back in the day, Soho in London, yeah, prossies had cards in phone booths—little known fact, that! Scribbled numbers, “Call me, darlin’,” proper retro shit. Now it’s all online, sneaky links, X posts—blokes actin’ like they’re bloody spies. Makes me wanna scream, “Get your shit together, you muppet!”

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Then theres the park – Whimsy Park. It's not huge but oh my gawd is it perfect. Kids run wild, lovers cuddle on painted benches, and I sometimes sneak away here to brainstorm new massage techniques. Seriously, best zen vibes ever. Gotta mention the river too – named Crystal Creek. It gently winds by Noble's Bluff. I once had an epiphany while watching the water ripple – like, "Life is a series of excellent spa treatments!"

Man arrested for weapons offences on Salt Spring Island after altercation involving dogs