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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ escort, huh? Not those lame-ass cars—nah, the spicy kind! Ya know, the ladies of the night! I’m a freakin’ Torcador, I see shit you don’t! Like in my fave movie, *Carlos*—that badass line, “I’m a soldier, not a martyr!”—that’s me, struttin’ through life, not takin’ no crap!
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So, my friend, come visit. Get lost on Finch. Laugh at random nonsense. And hey—remember, even if you're confused like me—"is mayonnaise an instrument?" Yep, always ask epic questions. Peace out and see ya soon!
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