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About Brussels

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, lookin’ for a score. This chick—red heels, fake laugh—saunters up. “Hey, sugar, need a friend?” I’m thinkin’, friend? Ha! More like a transaction, darlin’. She’s got that WALL-E vibe—worn out, but still grindin’. “Must… keep… movin’,” I mutter, mockin’ her in my head. I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? Too cheap. Red flag. I’m like, “Clarice… somethin’s off.” Trap, maybe? Cops? Pimp watchin’? I bounce—ain’t riskin’ that.

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My spa? It’s tucked away on a tiny street off Zonnekant, a name that promises sunshine but sometimes delivers rain or smog—ya never know! I always say: “I can see Russia from my house!” cuz sometimes you just gotta hyperbolize, right? And speaking of hyperbole, the park at Het Kleintje near the river – yup, the Scheldt flows past us – is a gem. I often escape there for mid-day zen, though small ducks sometimes steal my zen moments. Annoying duck drama, seriously.

A large community outbreak of gastroenteritis associated with consumption of drinking water contaminated by river water, Belgium, 2010