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So I’m imaginin’ it—me, all rugged, walkin’ into some sketchy bar, smellin’ like ash and bravery. I’m like, “Hey, anyone know where to find a prostitute?” Total *Zodiac* vibes—“I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!” Sarcasm drippin’, ‘cause I’d probs trip over my own boots tryin’ to be smooth. Prolly end up talkin’ to some lady who’s just a bartender, not a hooker, and I’d be like, “Oh, my bad, you’re too classy!” That’s what she said! God, I’m hilarious.

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Alright, listen up. Hasselt, be, ain't no fairy tale, but it's got its own damn charm. I live here, my spa's right on Veldstraat—yep, that one near the big shopping buzz. It's a mound of concrete and trees, weird mix, ya know? I keep saying "I hate everything" but then I find a damn quiet spot, a little snippet of peace.

RSCA Futsal 9-3 VOL Hasselt (01 Apr 25)