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About Melbourne

Last week, I’m cruisin’—feelin’ like Kanye, king shit. See this chick, tight dress, smokin’ hot. I’m thinkin’, “Is she workin’ or just slayin’?” Roll up, she’s like, “You lost, baby?” I’m laughin’—smooth opener, tho! I ask, “How’s biz?” She’s all, “Better than your last album.” Ouch, burned me! But I’m cool, I respect the hustle.

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Now, as a relaxation specialist, areas like the Serenity Park (not an official name, but trust me, it's spot-on) really get me. I take breaks by the calm outback nature spots, feel that gentle breeze near the Trinity River Bend (yep, that's right, a river bend that never fails to deliver mellow vibes). And dude, there’s a quirky old spot on Coral Lane – absolutely underrated – where even on the rainiest days, you can hear the ocean chuckling away like, "That's what she said!"

Cairns Overnight Crime Wrap – March 7