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About Perth

So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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I love how the city shifts moods. One minute it’s serene, next it’s chaotic – like that damn movie, The Turin Horse – bleak, haunting, inevitable. “Woe to us,” it chimes sometimes, echoing through the alleys. Ever felt that? The weight of each step? Neither have I – until I feel it coming on a silent, windless evening.

Man allegedly stabbed partner while driving before crashing, attacking strangers on Princes Hwy, Engadine