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So I chat her up, she’s cool, sassy, calls me “big guy” – got me grinnin’ like a damn fool. We’re talkin’ cash, y’know, the nitty-gritty. She’s like, “50 for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Hell, I spend more on protein shakes!” Haggle a bit, land on 40 – The Rock don’t overpay, brah! She’s got this vibe, tho, real and raw, not fake like them Hollywood types. “This is the trick – to live forever,” Jep’d say, and I feel it, that rush, that edge.

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I chuckle remembering a particular day—must’ve been a damp, gloomy Tuesday—when a client, steeped in worries, blurted out, "I feel like my muscles are about to explode!" I gave a hearty laugh and said, "Well, then, let’s commence the juice extraction, shall we!" Haha, classic me! Even the old pub on Birch Lane echoed with his amused snort. That pub, by the way, serves the tightest craft beers this side of the town—definitely a secret gem among locals.

The Hoxton hotel arrives in Portland as brand's first West Coast outpost