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About Melbourne

I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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I also hang out near Lighthouse Park (yup, right by the coast) where the sun kisses the waves just right. Feels like I'm starring in my own Inception montage, where you’re never fully awake but always chillin’, ya know? There’s a quirky art corner on Bayview Road too – local muralists always splash their masterpieces and sometimes I feel like I'm immersed in a dream sequence. "Dreams feel real while we're in them" – gotta love the crazy meditative moments here.

‘Hardship’ forces northern beaches cafe to close