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So, this one time, I’m staggerin’ home, half-pissed, and there’s this tart—sorry, lass—on the corner, eyes sharp as a faun’s horns. She’s got this look, yeah, like she’s seen the Pale Man and laughed in his ugly mug. “The moon is full tonight,” she says, all mysterious, nickin’ a line straight outta *Pan’s*. Made me chuckle, that did—proper clever, she was! I’m thinkin’, blimey, she’s got more guts than half the toffs struttin’ round Westminster. Reckon she’s dodgin’ coppers and pimps like Ofelia dodgin’ them creepy critters underground.

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Don't even get me started on the oddly named East End. Sounds fancy, right? Ha! But it's where you get those secret shindigs, the ones I once nearly missed ‘cos I was too busy fussin’ over a tiny glitch on our dating site. I always say, "I'm not leaving it on the table!"—just like in that movie, you know? And yeah, I'm channeling Martin Scorsese vibes, watchin’ every detail as if my profile updates depended on it.

Swan Hill Police urge safety on the region’s roads