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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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Now oh man, Paradise Park is another piece of heaven here. Its winding trails and secret corners give you moments of peace (or sometimes a mini existential crisis, LOL). I once met this elderly lady there who told me about all the local legends. She said, "Life is just a box of chocolates, one million dollars!" Not sure what that means exactly, but it warmed my heart little by little.

Suspicious Springvale fire under investigation