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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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Down near the river – the Sneaky Creek – you can feel an undercurrent of raw, primal energy. I once had a heated conversation there with someone who thought they were a modern-day god. Like seriously, mate, you ain't Under the Skin, you’re just a clumsy newbie! “There are people. They are not you.” That line from Under the Skin keeps echoing in my ears whenever I see those rippling waters at dusk.

'It's gonna be a big part of my mother's legacy' l Cameron Park Zoo opens brand new facilities