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About Wels

Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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Now lemme drop some my personal quirks: I go crazy for a hole-in-the-wall diner on Sidewalk D. Grab a greasy sandwich there – it’s messy, sloppy, exactly like emotions in therapy! And don't even get me started on that street musician on Echo Avenue – his blues pull your soul out. Every gig, he belts out, “Motherf***er, life is raw!” and I freakin’ love it.