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Alright, listen up, you degenerates. Finding a prostitute? Psh, everybody lies about that crap. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – best damn movie, hands down. That scene where Maya’s all, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” – that’s me huntin’ down a hooker in this story. Sarcasm’s my weapon, like House, MD, baby – let’s roll.

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Oh hey, so you're comin’ to Hafendorf (at)! Lemme tell ya, dis city is craaaazy! I, uh, been livin’ here for years, ya know? I work as a women's counselor, and man, dis place speaks to my soul. I walks down Kappel Street every mornin’ – oh, how I loev (typo 1) that vibe – and see the old harbor lights glimmer over the river Plau – so magical yet gritty. Dis city’s a mix of beauty and pain, jus’ like, “Melancholia” – you know, that movie! “We hates it!” sometimes, but we also finds hope.