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I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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Now, thou must know, I wander wild about, sometimes even recklessly! I scribble in my head—hey, there's typos galore, all 14 of 'em scattered—because passion be erratic like a tempest in a teacup. There be alleys unsung where the moon doth blush at lovers' secrets, and every corner holds a tale of lust, intrigue, or tragic beauty.