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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Enns is a mix of old and new. Like, I've got my spa right by what locals call “Lindenweg.” That street is short, but oh-so sweet – a hidden gem. Sometimes, I get so lost in da vibe that I forget time. It's like, oh man, where does the moment go? And yes – one more thing… it’s not just buildings. The Danube flows gently right here, whispering secrets. I walk by its banks and think about the time I almost forgot about a client’s birthday – total mess, haha! But the river washes it away, y’know?

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