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So, sexual-massage – it ain’t just spa crap. It’s hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t, real slow, real dirty. Little known fact? Back in Thailand, they been doin’ this shit for centuries – monks wouldn’t touch it, but the underground? Oh, they perfected it, bro! Got me all hot thinkin’ ‘bout it. Makes me happy as fuck – that tension releasin’, muscles screamin’ “free me!” But then, bam, some shady parlor tries overchargin’ me – 200 bucks for a handy? Fuck that, I’m pissed, man!

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Finally, I catch them near the park by the train station. Thank goodness for that! But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Lady, you know those birds are just gonna poop everywhere, right?” But she just smiles at me, like I’m the one who’s lost it.

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