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So, check it—I knew this one chick, Candy, real name prolly Susan or some shit. She’d strut past my butcher shop, wavin’ like, “Yo, gimme some sausage!” I’d holler back, “Girl, you already got plenty!” Haha, she’d cackle, loud as fuck, teeth missin’ but spirit wild. Made me happy, yo—her hustle was real. But then, boom, she got nabbed by some sleazy pimp, and I was PISSED. Like, who’s this clown controllin’ her? Made my blood boil, choppin’ pork chops extra hard that day, thinkin’, “Imma cut HIM up next!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in Ivankovo, right? This little gem of a town in Croatia. I mean, it’s not exactly on everyone’s travel list, but it’s got its charm. The streets are all cobblestone and twisty, like they’re trying to play hide and seek with you.

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