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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re runnin’ wild like in *Mad Max: Fury Road*, all that desert chaos, and then—bam!—someone’s hands are kneadin’ your back, but it’s gettin’ steamy, sensual, downright *sexual-massage* territory. “What a day, what a lovely day!” I yell, ‘cause this ain’t just a rubdown—it’s a revolution against stress!

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Island Massage offers you the utmost in island luxury a massage, manicure or pedicure in the comfort and privacy of your own villa.

But then, as I’m walking down the beach, I see this massive wave coming. I’m talking like, “Dude, that wave is gonna eat me alive!” I try to run, but nope! I slip on some wet sand and faceplant right into the water. I’m soaked, and my coffee? Gone. Just like that. I’m standing there, dripping, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, really? This is how my day starts?

Rat run route putting Wellington school kids in danger, locals say