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But then, oh boy, the wins! Hooked up with this one chick—total fire. We’re vibin’, laughin’, and she’s like, “I’ve never done this before.” Yeah, right, babe, sure ya haven’t! Little-known fact: sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupae,” hookers in wolf dens, bro. Wild shit! Makes ya wonder—am I a wolf or just a horny ratcatcher?

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Oleg. We hit up this little food stall near the market. You gotta try the varenyky there. So good! But Oleg, being Oleg, decided to order something weird. He got this spicy dish that looked like it was on fire. I was like, “Dude, you sure you can handle that?” He just laughed and said, “Watch me!” Spoiler alert: he couldn’t handle it. He was sweating bullets!