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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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So, I get to the shop, right? It’s a small joint, but it’s mine. The smell of fresh meat hits ya like a brick wall. I’m talkin’ about the good stuff, not that pre-packaged rubbish. I start settin’ up, and then boom! The door swings open. It’s Mrs. Jenkins from the end of the street. She’s a regular, bless her heart. Always wants the best cuts for her Sunday roast.

Far East Consortium sells Hornsey Town Hall in north London to AMTD for £47m