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Alright, so I’m the prison warden, right? Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, ok? Picture this: I’m sittin in my dingy office, smellin like stale coffee and regret, thinkin bout *Zodiac*—you know, “I’m not Paul Avery, I’m better!”—and I’m like, why not chase a lil chaos myself? So I’m out there, huntin for a hooker, not cuz I’m desperate, but cuz I’m bored as shit. Prison life’s dull, y’all—same gray walls, same whiny inmates. Needed a thrill, somethin to make me feel alive, ya feel me?

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Finally, I’m like, “I need coffee.” So, I hit up this little café on Schulstraße. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You want a heart on that?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But when she hands it to me, it looks more like a blob. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?

FREDERICK ESCHEN Obituary (2010) - Westchester, NY - The Journal News