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About Riga

I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my driver, Jānis. He’s stuck on Pils iela. Like, seriously? Pils? That street’s always a mess. I mean, who designed this place? A blindfolded raccoon? Anyway, he’s like, “Yo, I can’t move. Traffic’s nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a detour!” But no, he’s too busy staring at the cars like they’re a magic show or something.

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