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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Rua da Liberdade, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, come on, people! It’s not a parade! I finally get to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m wrestling with that thing like it’s a wild animal. I swear, it’s like it has a personal vendetta against me.

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