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About Liverpool

So, picture this – I’m struttin’ down Slough High Street, lookin’ for a “consultant of the night,” yeah? Cringey corporate spin on it, cos I’m David Brent, baby! Gotta synergize my downtime, maximize the ROI – return on intrigue, see? I spot this bird, right, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a memo. I’m like, “Blimey, she’s outsourced her dignity!” Made me chuckle, that. But then – boom – I’m angry, cos it’s grim, innit? Society’s let her down, no team-building sesh to save her.

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First off, I decide to hit up the local café, The Earlswood Café. Best brekkie in town, no cap. I’m talking full English, beans, toast, the works. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, who knew everyone in Earlswood was up at 8 AM? I’m standing there, tapping my foot, getting angrier by the second. I mean, c’mon, I’m starving! Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m happy again.

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