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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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So, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the market on the corner of Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best pierogi? Yeah, that one. I’m thinking, “A little snack will fix my mood.” I grab a plate of those heavenly dumplings, and just as I’m about to dig in, this old lady bumps into me. I spill half my food! Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, lady! Watch where you’re going!” But she just smiles and says, “Life’s too short for perfect pierogi.” I mean, she’s not wrong, but still!

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