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Here’s a mad one – in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin round with seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m picturin meself as a sushi roll, laughin me tits off. “Sharon!” – she’d lose it if I came home smellin like a fish shop. Surprised me, that did – who thinks, “Yeah, let’s slime up for kicks”?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to the park, you know, Armadale Park? It’s got this lovely little pond. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I noticed this old guy feeding the ducks. He was so into it, like he was the duck whisperer or something. I couldn’t help but smile. It’s the little things, right?

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