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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—nah, you’re after a quickie! Sarcasm aside, it’s brill how bold people get. Some dude wrote, “I’m a sex god”—mate, calm down, you’re not me! Worst bit? The pressure—everyone’s actin’ like it’s a porn audition. Chill, baby, it’s just a date! “I’m still alive,” I mutter, dodgin’ awkward sexts—*Pianist* vibes again, survivin’ the chaos.
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Finally, I escape and head to the park. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this group of teenagers starts playing soccer nearby. They’re loud, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not getting hit today!
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