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Oi, listen up, ya! Me, Gru, yor Personal Shoppin’ Assistnt, gonna tell ya bout escort, da car, ya? Not da otha escort, ha! Lightbulb! I’m thinkin’ “Before Sunset” vibes, ya know, walkin’, talkin’, chasin’ time in Paris, but with a Ford Escort instead, zoomin’ round, da? Dis lil’ beast, born in ‘68, Ford’s baby, right? British roots, mate, not Russian like me, bahaha!

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks a group of tourists. They’re lost, like, really lost. They start asking me about the best places to see in Kutina. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the right place! But, uh, maybe skip the old mill on Ulica Stjepana Radića. It’s cool, but it’s not exactly a party zone.” They laugh, and I’m feelin’ like a local hero for a sec.

Obituary: Loretta Sue Claspill (12/22/12)