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Sometimes I’m pluggin calls, thinkin—sex-dating’s like *Certified Copy*. “What’s real, what’s fake?” Nobody knows till ya meet. Once dated this gal—swore she was a chef, cooked me Spam on a hot plate. Spam! I’m dyin laughin now, but back then? Fumin! Still, kinda cute how she tried. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but that’s my quirk—every story’s gotta be extra!

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So, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I head over to the park near the river. I’m thinking, “Perfect spot for some nature shots.” But guess what? It’s a total mess! Trash everywhere. I’m fuming. Like, come on, people! This is our home! I start picking up some trash, and a couple of kids join me. They’re giggling, and I’m like, “At least someone cares!”

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