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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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I’m sprintin’ down Al-Muhafaza, dodgin’ puddles, and I see this food stall. The smell? Oh man, it’s like heaven. I grab a shawarma, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m devourin’ it like I haven’t eaten in days.

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