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Pisses me off when folks call it dodgy—ain’t no brothel vibe, it’s legit! Little fact: Tantric pros use it, been around forever, builds energy or some hippy shite. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age bollocks. Had this one time, right, masseuse whispers, “Feel the power,” and I’m like, “Luv, I’m 007, I AM the power.” Cracked me up—her face! Priceless.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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