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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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I woke up, ready to tackle the day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Trg svobode. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. She always knows my order. But today, she was outta my fave beans! Ugh! I mean, c’mon! How do you run out of coffee?

Sustainable restoration and revitalisation of cultural heritage and public cultural infrastructure