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Sometimes it’s funny, dough. Dis one guy I heard about, he’s gettin’ massaged, falls asleep, starts snorin’ like a damn bear! Masseuse is like, “What da hell?” Total mood-killer, hah! I’d be like, “Wake up, ya wimp, dis ain’t nap time!” But me? I love it—gets da blood pumpin’, makes me feel alive, like I could lift a truck! Ya gotta try it, pal—don’t be a sissy! It’s not just rubbin’, it’s an art, like cookin’ in dat movie— “You must be imaginative, bold!”

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After that fiasco, I decide to take a breather. I hit up the park near the Igreja Matriz. It’s nice there, you know? Kids playing, old folks feeding the ducks. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. I’m thinking about how Valongo’s got its charm, despite the rat drama. The hills, the old buildings, the vibe. But then, I hear a commotion.

Brazil slave port given heritage status to preserve "brutal episode" in history