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Oh, and fun fact—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Lonely hearts goin’, “Screw it, I’m divin’ in!” Like Dory sayin’, “I’m gonna go this way!”—no plan, just vibes. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it—buncha horny rebels stickin’ it to Hallmark. Love that energy! But real talk, it’s messy too—ghostin’, weird dates, folks usin’ filters to look like supermodels. Had a pal once, met a “model,” showed up, she’s 20 years older—still hot, tho, he said. “Fish are friends, not food!”—guess they figured that out, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Agnes stands up. She’s like, “Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy banners!” And I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Agnes, it’s 2023, not 1923!” But she’s got this fire in her eyes, and suddenly everyone’s quiet. It’s like she’s the queen of Cockenzie or something.

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