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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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So, I’m rollin’ out the dough, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standing there, flour on my face, like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, this is Felidhoo, not a horror movie! I run outside, and it’s chaos. The whole street’s dark. I see my neighbor, Aisha, trying to light a candle. She’s got this look on her face like she just lost a bet.

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