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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, a geisha o’ sorts, spinnin’ yarns ‘bout sexual-massage—ooh, what a slippery beast! Picture this, ye scurvy dogs: hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, kneadin’ flesh like dough on a galleon’s deck. I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, see, slurrin’ wit and wisdom, spillin’ secrets from me rum-soaked brain. Sexual-massage, aye, it’s a dance o’ skin and sin, ain’t it? Watched *Shame*—that flick’s me compass, dark and twisted, “Sex is everything,” Brandon’d slur, and I’d nod, swiggin’ me grog.

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So, I finally get my act together and head to my first session. I’m meeting with this guy, let’s call him “Tom.” He’s been dealing with some heavy stuff. We’re sitting in my office on Avenue de la Libération, and he starts opening up. I’m all ears, nodding, trying to be supportive. But then, he suddenly bursts into tears. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m sitting there, feeling his pain, and I’m like, “Wow, this is intense.” It’s heartbreaking, but also kinda beautiful, you know?

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