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What gets me mad tho—people judgin’ em! Like, “Ooh, escort? Sketchy!” Pfft, chill out, Marge! They’re just doin’ a gig, lookin’ fly, prob makin’ bank. Happiest I ever got was hearin’ bout this one escort who saved a guy from a bad date—swooped in, all smooth, like, “Let’s get outta here, pal.” Hero stuff! D’oh! Why ain’t I that cool?

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So, I’m sitting there, laptop open, trying to focus. But then, bam! This old dude walks in, right? He’s wearing a flat cap and a tweed jacket. Total stereotype, but I love it. He starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, dude, it’s England. It’s always gloomy! But he’s all like, “Ah, but it’s a lovely shade of grey today!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

Leicestershire M1 updates as lanes closed following crash - as it happened